Joke

She told me we couldnt afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.

Then I caught her spending £65 on make up!!

I asked her how come I had to give up stuff and she didnt??

She said she needed the make up to look pretty for me.

I told her thats what the beer was for.

Old ones are the best

LMFAO i feel sorry for what ever poor soul would say that you know they got berrid the next day

Only in Ireland !!!!


Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so
priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it
is today!


A lady died this past January, and MBNA bank billed her for February
and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and Then
added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance
that had been £0.00, now is somewhere around £60.00.



A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank:

Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply.'

Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

MBNA:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

MBNA:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to
the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

MBNA:
'Excuse me?'

Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her
being dead?'

MBNA:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply.'

Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

MBNA:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)

MBNA:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member:
'Sure.'
( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

MBNA:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I
can do to help.'

Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep
billing her. I don't think she will care.'

MBNA:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

MBNA:
'That might help.'

Family Member:
' Glasnevin Cemetry, Finglas Road , Dublin 11, Ireland , Plot Number
1049.'

MBNA:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'

Oo frakin hell your right so easy to imagen it happening, dam where do you get these jokes from, there awesome

Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into
a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the
girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up
and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his
wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He
probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I
saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he
nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was
whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and
asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be
strong honey. I love you too!!"